Tonette Kelly

Life Is For Living and Learning

Be An “Olympic” Parent. Let Your Children Do Things For Themselves

In my dealings with children over the last two decades I have found that the children who are ultimately the happiest and most successful are the children whose parents let them do as much as possible for themselves, as quickly as possible.

For some reason, today, many parents seem to think that they are being good parents by doing as much as they possibly can for their children. They make their beds, do most of their homework, polish their shoes and expect very little from them in terms of helping with family chores. The child doesn’t really appreciate all this effort from the parent as it just becomes normal but they lose the opportunity to become independent.

I believe that the greatest gift we can give our children is to have the confidence in them to let them do things for themselves as soon as they are able and allow them to fail at times. THis is how our children learn and grow.

We need to find another way to justify our own existence – other than doing things for our children that they can quite easily do for themselves.

You are not being cruel or harsh by having high expectations of your children. You are simply doing your job and bringing your child up to be independent and thrive.

Try it. You’ll be amazed at the results.

Tonette Kelly

Parenting Coach






August 13, 2012 - Posted by | 2012 Olympic Games, Children, Life, Parenting | , , , ,


  1. I so agree with you! And I am currently reading a book called Nurture Shock. Have you read it? The first chapter is called The Inverse Power of Praise, and it is all about how, when we praise our kids too much or for innate qualities, we are actually robbing them of motivation and setting them up for disappointment, and what we really need to be doing is offering more constructive criticism and keeping praise focused specifically on their process.
    I look forward to reading more of your blog!

    Comment by foolishsage42 | August 17, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi

      No I haven’t read the book. I’ll try and get it.

      Comment by Tonette kelly | August 22, 2012 | Reply

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