Tonette Kelly

Life Is For Living and Learning

How Do You Measure The Value Of A Teacher?

 

I was speaking with a child today (aged 16) and she was telling me how at her school the Headmaster has a system where the teacher’s pay is linked to performance in O Levels and A Levels.

She told me that to her a Teacher’s pay should be linked to the positive effect they have on the student’s life.

My client was having problems at home and this had caused her to lose focus on her school work.

She was way behind with Maths and constantly in trouble, She felt she couldn’t catch up and her self-confidence was down.

My client felt it was all too much and wanted to ‘drop out of school’.

A Teacher she had had for 2 years took the time to ask her one lunch-time what the problem was.

She told him and he explained to her that rather than drop out of school and be destined to a life of poor salaries and struggle, she could simply drop maths.

The child did not have parents who discussed education options with her and this simple advice made a world of difference.

She took the Teachers’s advice and 2 months later she is back on track at school.

I wonder how you measure this type of value that a great  Teacher adds to a child’s life.

Tonette Kelly

 

 

 

 

September 10, 2012 Posted by | Children, Life, School | , , , , | Leave a comment

Help Your Children Build Great Habits. Habit 3 – Put First Things First.

Sean Covey teaches us that our habits make or break our lives.

 It is essential that we teach our children good habits if we want them to be happy and productive.

He focuses on seven essential habits. We have already looked at Habits No. 1 and 2.

Today we will look at Habit No. 3 – Put First Things First.

We have to teach our children that time is valuable and to make good use of it.

They need to learn to distinguish between what is important and really matters, what is urgent and demands immediate attention and what can wait.

If your child gets an Assignment and leaves it until the night before to do, don’t let their bad time management become your problem.

Calmly tell your child that they should have done it earlier and allow them to take the consequences.

This should teach them a lesson.

At the beginning of each work it is a good idea to spend some time sitting with your child and asking them to show you their work plan for the week and their Homework Program for the semester.

Together you can then work on time management.

It is not your job to save your child from consequences. It is your job to teach your child that there are consequences and that they should factor these in to the decisions they make. 

Tonette Kelly

August 22, 2012 Posted by | Children, Life, School | , , | Leave a comment

Be An “Olympic” Parent. Let Your Children Do Things For Themselves

In my dealings with children over the last two decades I have found that the children who are ultimately the happiest and most successful are the children whose parents let them do as much as possible for themselves, as quickly as possible.

For some reason, today, many parents seem to think that they are being good parents by doing as much as they possibly can for their children. They make their beds, do most of their homework, polish their shoes and expect very little from them in terms of helping with family chores. The child doesn’t really appreciate all this effort from the parent as it just becomes normal but they lose the opportunity to become independent.

I believe that the greatest gift we can give our children is to have the confidence in them to let them do things for themselves as soon as they are able and allow them to fail at times. THis is how our children learn and grow.

We need to find another way to justify our own existence – other than doing things for our children that they can quite easily do for themselves.

You are not being cruel or harsh by having high expectations of your children. You are simply doing your job and bringing your child up to be independent and thrive.

Try it. You’ll be amazed at the results.

Tonette Kelly

Parenting Coach

 

 

 

 

August 13, 2012 Posted by | 2012 Olympic Games, Children, Life, Parenting | , , , , | 2 Comments

Help Your Children Build Great Habits. Habit 2 – Begin With The End In Mind

Sean Covey teaches us that our habits make or break our lives.

 It is essential that we teach our children good habits if we want them to be happy and productive.

He focuses on seven essential habits. We have already looked at Habit No. 1 –   BE PROACTIVE.

Today we will look at Habit No. 2 – Begin With The End In Mind.

Sean says that we need to teach our children to work out what they are seeking to achieve  and work with them to develop goals for their life, so that they have a ‘road map’ for what to do.

This helps keep them on track and stops a lot of time wastage.

For example each Sunday night we might ask our children what Assignments they have that week and get them to make a plan of what they’ll do each evening. This helps keep them on track.

At the begiining of each term we might ask our children what sports they’d like to play and what they’d like to achieve at school that term. At the beginning of this term my youngest child said that he wanted to be dux in at least one subject at Presentation Night. This was a good goal as it meant that we could plan the steps and work necessary to achieve it.

The essential with your children is lots of talk and communication around what they are seeking to achieve.

Tonette Kelly

August 5, 2012 Posted by | Children, Happiness, Life, Parenting | , , , , | Leave a comment

We Can Choose To Be Happy!

We all want to be happy and often we think this is the reason that we are here on Earth. When we’re not happy we feel cheated.

I’ve found that the reason we are here on Earth is to be of service and that in so being we will find happiness, as we will be content. Our thoughts will be on the good we are doing.

Jerry and Esther Hicks say it well as usual:

Being happy is the cornerstone of all that you are! Nothing is more important than that you feel good! And you have absolute and utter control about that because you can choose the thought that makes you worry or the thought that makes you happy; the things that thrill you, or the things that worry you. You have the choice in every moment.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Sacramento, CA on Saturday, March 15th, 2003 # 523

What this means is that no matter what is going on in our lives we can be happy if we choose to be happy. We are only sad if we dwell on things that make us sad.

Choose your thoughts and you change your world.

Tonette Kelly

August 5, 2012 Posted by | Happiness, Life | , , | 1 Comment

It’s Hard To Justify The Money Spent On The 2012 Olympic Games

The world is hurting at the moment. There are millions living in poverty and children die ecah minute of diseas and starvation.

Closer to home British families are doing it tough. Prices are high and jobs are scarce. The empty seats at the Olympic venues tell the story.

In such a scenario can any government really justify spending close to $15 billion on a sporting event, be-it the world’s most elite sporting event?

The costs of running the 2012 Olympic Games are separate from the costs for building the venues and infrastructure, and redeveloping the land for the Olympic Park and these costs are paid for with public money.

The running costs are privately funded which means even more money is tipped into the Olympic bucket and for what real global purpose?

I can’t help thinking what a difference the funds expended could have made to schools and hospitals in Great Britain and to the nations that the UK gives foreign aid to.

Tonette Kelly

 

 

August 3, 2012 Posted by | 2012 Olympic Games, Life | , , , | 1 Comment

Your Life Is Exactly As It Should Be!

We have to remember that even if we think our life is not right, it really is as it should be.

Jerry and Esther Hicks remind us:

Look for things that you appreciate where you are. It will put you in a place of perfect allowing, even when you are not yet manifesting all that you want. “There are many people right now experiencing the dream that is coming for me, who were at one time standing right where I’m standing. I’m right on track. There is not anything amiss here. Everything is unfolding perfectly. I am perfect where I am and gravitating to something that will satisfy me even more.” That’s the attitude that lets it expand.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Dallas, TX on Saturday, November 11th, 2000 # 521

 

This means that we have to accept what is happening right now and keep our sights on where we are heading. If we do we’ll definitely achieve our goals.

Tonette Kelly

 

 

August 3, 2012 Posted by | Life | , , , | Leave a comment

Help Your Children Build Great Habits – Habit 1. Be Proactive

Sean Covey teaches us that our habits make or break our lives.

 It is essential that we teach our children good habits if we want them to be happy and productive.

He focuses on seven essential habits and today we will look at Habit No. 1   BE PROACTIVE.

This means we need to teach our children to take responsibility for their lives and not place blame. Our children need to know that they choose what they do, how they feel and how they react and that they must not allow other people or things to control them.

For example, we need to help our children understand that if someone says something mean to them they can let it ruin their day, or they can shake it off and think ‘oh well’ and move on. Every child has immense power and needs to know that the only way they lose it is by playing the victim.

Tonette Kelly

August 3, 2012 Posted by | Children, Life | , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Do You Get Things In Life You Don’t Want?

Do you ever wonder why you get things in life you do not want?

Jerry and Esther Hicks explain it as follows:

When you’re vibrating purely, you get only what’s a match to that. It’s your ambivalence: “I like that but I don’t like that… I like that but I don’t like that…” that keeps what you like and what you don’t like coming at you all the time. You don’t have to “turn the other cheek” when you are in vibrational harmony only with what you want. Then, only what you want comes.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Sunday, November 1st, 1998 # 520

This means that we have to focus only on the positive and what we want and banish thoughts about what we do not want.

Try it. I know it works!

Tonette Kelly

August 2, 2012 Posted by | Life | , , , , | Leave a comment

Anxiety and Depression In Teenagers

I had a teenage girl see me today. She is suffering from anxiety and depression and is only 14.

Why? Because the other girls at school exclude her. She tries to fit in by wearing make-up and acting the way do around them, even though she hates how they act.

No-one has taught the child to value herself and that she does not neeed the acceptance of others. We are working on strategies so that my client can recognise the good things about her and be confident that these are enough.

 

She left today believing that she is a kind person. We achieved a lot.

 

Build your daughters up. Give them power.

 

Tonette Kelly

 

 

August 1, 2012 Posted by | Children, Life | , , , | Leave a comment